Alas, we
Who wished to lay the foundations of kindness, Could not ourselves be kind.
But you, when at last it comes to pass That man can help his fellow man,
Do not judge us Too harshly.     Bertolt Brecht  1938

I would recommend Richard Schwarzes’ new book, There are no Bad Parts. However, I want to consider the practical problem of parts that have become “bad,” Bad Actors, tyrannical and filled with malice. I see in dramas how they are often reflections of the abusing parent, much like my father’s resentful leather belt and angry restraints and sarcasm evolved into a scathing critic in my own psyche.

Inescapable circumstances forced some of my life energies (worthy of love and never originally bad) into a monster that was meant to keep me tamped down, to show my belly in submission, and thus ward off the worst of it. Father did not take defiance well, and could have murdered more of my child’s heart but he was at least indifferent to the wounded. Passivity and tolerating the intolerable by shutting down and dissociation are responses that kept me safer.

But as an adult I can’t just passively resist. I have learned I must call out the insanity for what it is. These psychopathic personalities in my inner domain as well as in our outer society thrive by wearing us down, expecting no resistance. Waving flags of hate at us while expecting we will just wave them by, avoiding confrontation. They count on us keeping our Pain and Self-Deceptions secret, as if it is our hurt and any attempt to soothe ourselves that are too “woke.” How dare we try to lay a foundation of kindness! As if being tender to a broken heart or responding to a desperate cry is a provocative act that will interfere with their unconditional freedom to be heartless.